August 10, 2011

Waiting is the Hardest Part

I started this post way back in March. This was a hard post for me to write since I am usually an upbeat person and there is nothing upbeat about losing your job or coming close. I wanted to wait to post this until we have confirmations of job placement, but we still don't have anything official. Part of having this blog is being able to share and be honest with what is going on in our lives. And while I am so proud of us for clearing our consumer debt (three days!) we still have a long road ahead of us.

It has been a stressful seven/eight months around here. We have waited patiently, with ulcers, to find out if the Sailor would be able to keep his job.

This has nothing to do with his performance and everything to do with there not being enough jobs in his field. There is definitely a grieving process with this news.

Denial
When I heard, back in January, that there might be a problem with his reenlistment, I scoffed. There is no way they would let someone go with such a superb record. They couldn't possibly start basically firing military members during a time of war, by not renewing their contracts. The news took a space in my mind, but I spent little time worrying about it.

Anger
Once March rolled around and this whole debacle wasn't taken care of, I started to worry and get mad. How could this happen to a sailor who has spent months at a time away from his family and worked ridiculous schedules and hours. Wasn't the deal to put up with that type of work environment for job security? Anger isn't even the tip of the emotional roller coaster felt when in seven years time the Sailor is set to retire and start getting a pension and now that possibility is getting robbed from him.

Bargaining
Around the end of April we were told that if the sailor could raise his ASVAB score there was a greater chance of finding a job in a different field. The test is in a month. We start studying algebra and word problems together five nights a week at first and then six nights a week. Flashcards are made and studied everyday.

Depression
There were some pretty sad days around here. Even though we are trying to make a better future for ourselves right now, having a job and a pension is a huge part of that. Lots of sulking, when there is a chance that it might not be there.

Acceptance
As much as we don't like the idea of getting out of the Navy, we had to come to terms with it as a possibility. During this time we are looking at all of our options. There are a few job opportunities that we research, but we have to wait to take any action. Our only option to stay in the Navy is to do well on the ASVAB, but we had to prepare ourselves for the worst. At this point it really is out of our hands.

Okay, we haven't reached acceptance yet
The ASVAB is in May and while we get the results of the test right away, there is still a waiting game when it comes to securing an available job. A month of studying pays off and the Sailor raises his score over twenty points, which is great. Immediately this opens up new opportunities for him, but like I said, we have to wait to get anything confirmed.

In the meantime, we are left to our own devices. I know the Sailor is stressed out, but he hides it well, cool as a cucumber. I, on the other hand, don't even come close to the cucumber realm. I am not even a vegetable, I'm more like a bucket full of nerves. By nature, I have an optimistic attitude, but I also have a very practical realistic side too. The cup is not half empty or full, it's just got water (or liquor) in it.

I hate to end the story here, but here is where it ends. While all the requests have been put in for the sailor to transfer or cross rate to another job, we still don't know if it is official. Waiting is the hardest part.